Alone: Left Behind

Yeri's POV

I have never found myself alone for more than a day. People were always around me as if they were trapped in my magnetic field. Whoever walked towards me always came back at least one more time. My service was on 24/7. 

Even though the number of people that stepped in my life were many, some left silently that I almost didn't notice their goodbyes. I walked into a new year with one less person. The more people you know, the more people you are bound to lose.  A waterfall of tears left my eyes dry but my memories engraved in my heart forever. I started to become the beholder of many life stories but my hand couldn't write a word and my mouth had started to shrink from all the wailing; my voice couldn't be heard by many.

The hands that had held me through the hard times faded slowly. It wasn't a dream. The eyes that had witnessed my every move shut slowly. The only lens that had captured me was too weak and the memory which kept clips of me dancing to life's music had been bugged. My own mother let go of my hand and pushed me forward away from her. My father who carried a cane pulled me away. I had left another one behind. Half my heart was gone. 

As if that wasn't enough, I watched a friend jump off a cliff and my father put his cane down to lie on the hospital bed till oxygen forgot the password. Those I owed the beautiful past stuck in it. I watched as the blinds closed. Life had to pull me itself. 

I was an only child. I wasn't young but I wasn't ready for life with people with different blood. I was the last of the bloodline, but this wasn't a comic where I could have to fight for my throne. No one cared about my existence. 

The many people that entered my life didn't cease to exist. With hearts that no one knows what they carried, they lounged in my lobby. Some asking for friendship, love, money, and others. I could open a business and in a short I would be rich. How did they come even when I had turned off the light? I wasn't Hotel del Luna where they had no choice but pass through. I was the grim reaper that they had to visit at least once. Should I visit the grim reaper to close this business?

Am I a relative of Ove? The string couldn't hold onto my neck tight. I had tried many ways to take my life but life cut the strings as if this was a game. Life fed me lemons. I had never been the cooking type to make lemonade. My hands could only carry my head as it become heavy from the epilogue planning. 

I had walked for too long seemingly with rings around me but alone and cold like Saturn. I sat to talk a break, my legs weak and out of breath, looked back at my life. On this elevator called life, I left a person on every floor; 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and so on. If I could take a step back, I could cross the bridge to the other side unlike Park Seo Joon in Itaewon Class. 

End of POV.

Explanation of the references that might be confusing

Ove: Check out the book titled A man called Ove. He tried to take his own life but there were many things that stopped him and he ended up giving up.

Grim reaper: I referenced Goblin; a Korean Drama. People before they went to them after life after they died, they met the grim reaper. The character is played by Lee Dong Wook.

Park Seo Joon in Itaewon Class: Park Seo Joon's character, Park Sae-ro-yi, refused to cross the bright with his father to the afterlife because he had things he wanted to do. 

Hotel del Luna: This is the title of a Korean drama and also the name of the hotel in the drama where spirits of those who were dead stayed. Every spirit had to go to that hotel.

This is a lament of a girl who was left alone. Year after year she lost a person. The more people she knew, the more she lost. Everyone has a finish line of their own and those whose end point is in the future, they hate to leave their loved ones in the last. 

 

I was inspired by a post from Yara Shahidi. 

A new year has began.  Happy New Year 2022.