A Day of Work

 

The sun burns my skin as I sit down next to my new friends talking about random stuff as we rest from the hard work we were doing. The boys had taken the hoes digging and pushing the work further. A circle of people who would not have met as a collection but be a sent blessing from the heavens or a curse, they are bound.

I am used to waking up late and watching movies for hours all day. I am not used to waking and walking for more than five minutes and standing in the sun until my skin tans. Worries like what to wear, how to behave, and others that social beings have are starting to overwhelm me. But I programmed myself to be loyal even when I could run away with excuses. 'It is for the country and it has always been part of my plans to contribute. Hold yourself together.'

With a group of young adults, single and still hormonal, there are things that are bound to happen. It is not matchmaking that we are sitting in circles and talking, but our eyes will find their own mission and set the hearts on fire. I would like to throw it away but artistic flame has risen again, whether I do something about it or not, and I am letting crushes back into my life. How lowly of someone who thinks themselves an artist! 

My steps to the site are guided by my will to work but my time at the site is filled with stolen glances and small efforts to rid myself of guilt. I pictured adulthood about studying and working first, but somethings are unavoidable. I still want to fool myself regardless. 'I wake and walk there to challenge myself only.' I want to escape the reality of the possibility of meeting the so-called soulmate or the trial phrases before the actual premium. 

With many thoughts on my mind that are quite a luxury to even think about given my reality, my life is progressing too slowly. I am surrounded by those going to school or soon going to and those who are making money. They have their life in control while I hide behind a façade of being busy and up to something. Maybe I should give the stolen glances and heartbeats some credit, they do take my mind off worrisome thoughts. What a way to spend a day of work!