A stranger called my sister

My sister had been quiet. No one knew her very well. Not even me the brother. We had been close when we were younger but as we got older, I made many friends and always spent time with them. I had never seen my sister bring a friend home but she did talk about this one person a lot. Later I found that they were best friends, a guy from her class. I tried to know more about my sister from him but he seemed to only know what she had told him, which wasn't much either. My sister kept her life too private.

My parents couldn't find anything to talk about her aside from that she was a good mannered girl who didn't cause any trouble. There were no memories to share. We didn't eat together. The only activity that we did together was go to church together. My sister did have dinner with my mom but mom knew nothing about her. It is almost as if we lived with a stranger. I can't believe I know more about my friends and celebrities I will never meet than my own sister. And here I thought I was a good brother.

While looking through my sister's belongings looking for what to keep and what not, I saw that she kept her secrets to herself well. She had a box under her bed in corner and it had all her diaries. Before I opened each one of them, I didn't understand why she had so many of them. But when I read half of them, I understood how it might have been for her. We neglected her because we thought she would do well on her own. Just because she didn't cause any trouble made us think that she could take of herself; we didn't feel obligated to take care of her. I wish I could go back.

As if she knew what was going to happen to her, all her devices were found home and not encrypted. She didn't commit suicide but why were her devices unlocked? I had once tried to see what she is always looking at on her computer alone but couldn't enter any of her devices. She was mad at me then. I should have tried harder to get to know her. Every type of relationship requires effort regardless with whom. Even your hatred for someone needs a flame to keep burning. 

My sister had recorded videos of herself walking on streets, listening to music, eating, drawing sketches of her favourite artists, trying on different clothes, and even talking about her crushes. For the first time in my life did I cry; the only time I missed my sister. Why did she have to go too early. We had never lived as siblings. I know life teaches lessons daily but this was a bit extreme. 

I was happy to see my sister smile through the videos I saw but some made me hate myself. She had written and recorded audios of how she felt. She even kept track of her recordings. My sister had been depressed all this time. Behind smiles there are broken souls. We only focus on someone's demeanor but never stop wonder about what goes on in their minds. What saddens me was that I was the person in charge of the students at school; everyone came to me with their problems. I had met many people with different problems and some like my sister but I never paid any attention at her. She just was my sister. 

There are millions of people who are tackling problems that can't be seen by the eyes; problems that we don't often give value. We tend to live as strong people surrendering to ego and acting like main characters. But some people can't afford to think about that strength. I have to say though, they are the strongest. It must not have been easy to put on a smile while when the night lives they are swallowed by their insecurities and everything else that binds them in darkness. 

Let's pay attention to those closest to us. We blind ourselves in changing the lives of those we think need us more and forget those we share a deeper connection with. Charity begins at home. Family first. 

Inspiration:

Looking through my google drive, I watched the videos of myself I recorded while I was bored and somehow a thought crossed my mind. People watch videos of their loved ones when they die and that made me emotional. Would they watch mine like that. I feel like I should record more videos. They wouldn't know more about me through the videos I have. Maybe they would use my journal. There is more of me there. I got really emotional.